Humility

 I know what I know, and that’s all that I know, You know?  I am what I am, and that’s all that I am, I am pretty sure.  There is nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t know.”  It can actually be quite liberating.  Moreover, it is not a crime against humanity to change your mind or have your thoughts and opinions evolve over time.  That is actually a sign of intelligence, not of being a flip flopper.  We are all constantly growing, being and becoming.  Having an open mind and a good healthy sense of humility helps each of us age well, like a fine wine.  We are unique gifts with so many possibilities.  We are each a treasure, and God desires that we become wiser and richer in love everyday.  

At the same time, we are never perfect.  We each need constant refinement.  The great deceptive trap that we all fall into is the pit of pride.  Now, pride can be a positive gift (See SP on Pride).  However, here I use pride in the negative sense.  The kind of blinded self-serving pride that leads to arrogance and hubris.  We all cave to the notion that we have to be “right.”  We need to be at “our best” in order to succeed.  We have to be “in control.”  Here is some advice we have all tried, “If you don’t know what you are doing, then fake it.”  We are sold on the notion, “never admit you are wrong, it shows weakness.”  Heck, we even buy books teaching us how to win every argument.  “Image is everything.”  “Don’t back down.”  “Don’t give in.”  “Never let them see you sweat!”  We have become so accustomed to this mentality that we have forgotten how moronic it really is.  Why?  Probably because the other option is to explore humility.  It is difficult to express humility because it makes us very vulnerable, and that is scary.

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through.  A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy.  He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd.  So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.  When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.”  (Luke 19:1-6 NIV)

Zacchaeus was probably not a very well-liked man.  Most tax collectors in those days were not.  I assume that what made a tax collector effective was earning respect from others through a healthy dose of fear.  Once you have status and money, intimidating others becomes a lot easier (no matter how physically small you may be).  However, for some reason here Zacchaeus abandons all inhibition.  He discards the need to project strength and control.  He ran ahead of the crowd without the fear of being ashamed or humiliated.  He climbed up a tree, highlighting the reality of his short stature.  Then he gazed upon the face of Jesus, who he has heard so much about.  Maybe Zacchaeus embraced humility because he had nothing to lose?  Perhaps he had a deep desire to see the love of Christ and it overwhelmed him?  In any case, he just had to see Jesus. 

There must have been a brief moment of terror for Zacchaeus when their eyes first met.  Would Jesus scold him for being a tax collector and a sinner?  Would he laugh and stir up the crowd to make fun of him?  Would Jesus just walk on by?  Whenever we embrace humility, and possible humiliation, there is always that moment of doubt.  We wonder what will happen, even with our relationship with God.  Zacchaeus had no idea.  He just had a pounding in his heart that he trusted in that moment.  Of course we now know how it turned out. Jesus commended him.  Not only that, but Jesus recognized his humble heart, open and ready to receive, and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.”

We may be met with ridicule from others when we live guided by humility.  It may even hurt.  We may get shot down, laughed at, or rejected.  Maybe not?  Maybe we will be surrounded by people who really respect and see the wisdom of living a life of humility?  People who know we are all on a journey.  People who realize we each make mistakes and hopefully grow.  However, other people are not what is most important.  What matters most is our relationship with God.  It is the desire, above all else, to gaze upon the face of Christ.  Finding and being found by God’s unconditional love far outweighs the lonely need to know it all.  So climb a tree, show the world how you fall short, and hear God say, “I must stay at your house today!”

Personal Reflection

I am sure there are many ways I have acted out of pride and not humility this week.  I am sure I will fail again next week.  However, by way of a prayerful life, what seems to grow inside is an awareness for the need to repent, not to be perfect.

One of the great joys of being a priest is instructing others in the grace of receiving Holy Communion.  This process is truly humbling.  I try to think of images that will help teach and give the most enlightenment.  However, during instruction I realize that I will never be able to fully understand, let alone teach, how God touches lives.  I have also come to realize that there truly is no hierarchy in God’s kingdom.  I am no higher or lower in the eyes of God than anyone else.  Each of us needs to be loved and fed.  Further, the gap of knowledge between God and me is infinitely greater than that between any two human beings.

Today is God’s Present!